Give and Get Love Today!

Happy Valentine’s Day!  

Want to give and get love today?  If so, there’s only one place to go, THE BEDROOM, of course!  

Our bedrooms are undoubtedly the most important rooms in our homes.  Why?  Our

that's me sitting on my bed after hanging that beautiful photograph my husband took!

that’s me sitting on my bed after hanging that beautiful photograph of Iceland my husband took!

bedrooms hold all the metaphors for the way we “do” relationships and love in this life.  The ways we decorate our bedrooms, take care of them and maintain them, what we do (and don’t do) in them, and how we share them (and don’t share them) all reflect how we are in relationship to ourselves and to our intimate partner (if we have one).  For singles, the bedroom even reflects how we are in relationship to our desire to have a partner.

Today, when hearts and roses and love are swirling all around, I offer you 10 new ways to give and get love.  These tips are for couples and singles:  those of you who feel “successful” in love and those of you who feel like love has been an uphill and confusing journey.  These tips are for all of you.  And they all start in this most special and sacred place in our homes–the bedroom.

1.  Do a super thorough cleaning of your bedroom.    Taking care of this room is really about how you take care of your self and your relationship.  When we are taking good care of ourselves, we can love and be loved more easily.

2.  Let go of bedroom clutter:  junk under the bed, stuff crammed into nightstands, random things in dresser drawers.  Clutter in the bedroom prevents us from feeling alive in our relationships to self and others!  Certain forms of clutter can also keep us attached to old relationships.

3.  Give yourself the gift of sleeping on some really luxurious sheets.  Go for warm and rich colors.  Choose the high thread count.  This will bring delight to this most vulnerable space.

4.  Take a look at the art hanging on your walls.  Do you love all of it?  If not, take it down and look for art pieces that really make you feel great.  When you surround yourself with things (art, furniture, objects) that you love, it increases your energy and happiness.

5.  Monitor closely for what I call “therapy art” or “therapy objects.”  These are items that served a good purpose at one time.  (The recently divorced woman needed to hang a painting of an independent woman by herself).  But beware when it’s time to let these things go and be open to a new phase of life.

6.  Limit your bedroom to sleep, self-care, and intimacy.  When we bring work, TV, computers, etc. into this sacred space, it takes us further away from these 3 basic pursuits which are all so important to LOVING!

7.  Create your bedroom to be a total sanctuary for sleep, self-care, and intimacy!  What would that look like for you?  Get creative!

8.  What’s happening in your closet reflects how you present yourself to the world and how you express yourself in the world day to day.  Is it organized?  With only clothes you love and feel fantastic in?  Do the colors reflect you?  Spend some time loving your closet and it will be reflected in how you love yourself and your partner!

9.  If you are in a partnership, how are you sharing your bedroom space?  Have you collaborated in decorated and arranging the space?  Or has one person done everything?  I invite you to bring the spirit of collaboration into your space and talk together about how to make the room feel wonderful.  Collaborating here will reap benefits throughout your relationship!

10. And, please, get yourself some Valentine’s flowers today even if you are in a relationship, and put them in your bedroom!  Love yourself first today!